Sunday, June 20, 2010
Yes, i believe in "FATE". Like a small girl, believing in fairy tales. But is time for me to wake up."Sometimes during a course meal, a fork and a spoon are needed. Once you left one one of it, you can never start your meal."
Yes, is true. We might can eat by using only a fork or a spoon but is it easy? Is it convenient? No.
My tears can't stop rolling down. I just lost something that is very important to me. I was terrified. We had unhappy moment last night and yes, i lost the "things" today. I am sad, very very sad. I tried to search everywhere that is possible: in my car, my hotel, a long the way i walked by but i still can't find it. It is really heart breaking.
Sometimes, i think i am not a good girl, i should say: A BAD GIRL. I always created unhappy moment. I couldn't express myself well. I feel that i am dumb. Whenever i did it, i felt regretted after that. And i will be emo later on, like now.
I really can't stop crying, like a small kid lost her favourite toy. I wished the thing i lost will appear itself, RIGHT NOW! But i know is impossible.
I hate myself for being like this, like last time.
I hate myself for being so soft, like last time.
I hate myself for not being strong, like i used to be.
I hate myself, for losing the thing, that i like it the most.
I hate myself for being not me, which i expressed in a wrong way.
I really hate myself right now, for crying non-stop...
I am the one who always making commitment. I am tired, very tired. Maybe is time, that i should stop. I should let it breathe, at least for now...
p/s: i am sorry...
7:09 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
