Too Cool for Internet Explorer
Saturday, May 31, 2008
First day of "WORK"
31 May 2008 Sunny Day

Woke up at 7 today... Mum and dad went to Japan already... So... This is a MUST for me... T.T... As usual... I didn't rest at all... I kept dreaming... Dreamt about what? I don't know... Just that... It happened again... I could slept well for the past few months but now... I don't know... Felt so tired when i woke up but i couldn't slept back anymore... Once i slept back, i start dreaming again... Sigh...

Spending almost half of my day in the shop... Selling, tidying, packing... Almost every single things that mum did, i needed to do it... Previously, thought that we only opened until 12 noon then we will closed it until 3pm... But i was wrong... We closed at 1pm and opened back at 3pm... Touchering~~~ Soooooooo bored there at the last 2 hours as i finished all my works already... I even finish reading A NOVEL there... Imagine... Sigh... This life... I had to bear with it for another 6 more days... Spare me~~~

As to avoid i had no more novel to read for the next 6 days, i decided to bring my laptop to the shop after 3, when the shop reopened... Played games there... HAHA... Time passes really VERY FAST... HAHA... And the most important thing is that... It can make u forgot everything temporary... Which is good to me... HAHA...

Anyway, gotta off soon... Need to wake up earlier tomorrow... Tomorrow will be more tiring... Sunday... Sigh...

10:14 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Friday, May 30, 2008
My story
30 May 2008 Sunny Day

HAHA... Be lazy today... Didn't went over to the shop... Since i have to wake up very early (7.00 am) starting from tomorrow until next Thursday, just let me slept late for the one last day... T.T... Mum and dad flied to Japan already... Left me, grandma and maid in the house... Thus i had to go over to the shop from morning until evening... WITHOUT SALARY!!! T.T... I don't want...

Have been thinking of it for a long time already... No one know it... Decided to write out here:
中二,是我人生的第一个转折点。我遇上了他。其实,我们是小学同学。唯一的不同点就是我们只同班了两个星期,之后我就转校了。我之所以会记得他,就是因为他常欺负我。六年后,我竟在补习中心遇见他。他向我朋友要了我的电话号码,然后便跟我联络了。

渐渐的,我们的距离越来越近。虽不同校,但是却以简讯来代替。直到有一天,我朋友告诉我,他是玩玩的,不是认真的。他想要利用我来引起我朋友(他前女友)的妒忌心。但是他并不知道,我朋友(他前女友)竟然在撮合我们俩。

当然,伤心是一定会的。我哭了。我歇斯底里的哭了。那一年,是我第一次,为我所喜欢的男生而哭。我无法在压抑自己的情感,虽然我知道,这非常不值得。之后,我们就失联了。

接下来的几年,我都不敢接受新的恋情,甚至不敢期待。我害怕。害怕自己的期待会落空。害怕自己再一次走回以前的冤枉路,直到今年。

今天是他的生日。虽然我们已失联了,但是我还是要对他说:

子康,生日快乐!

10:54 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Today... I CUT MY HAIR!!!
29 May 2008 Sunny Day

Previously thought that i will have laksa as my breakfast... But mum don't let me have it... My pimples and heatiness... T.T... She wanted me to have Tapioca balls... Quite nice actually but i don't really like tapioca... So... I just ate one...

Have a haircut also... Seriously need to change my look as i already felt bored by looking at it... Don't you all think so too? Yet too many things happened in this period... Felt like change my hairstyle will have fresher day... So decide to cut my hair at Gary's shop... He is still... The best barber i ever had... Still like his style of cutting my hair... Phew... Feeling so good after the haircut...

Went to Carefour with mum after dinner... To stock up my food and other necessary things in KL... Almost everything there is expensive compare to Tesco... If is not that mum is leaving tomorrow, think we will go to Tesco to buy instead of here... Bought pasta, maggi, toothpaste and fried rice paste... HAHA... Going to cook fried rice when i go back to KL... HAHA... Hope it will be a success...

1 week have past... 1 week more to go before school reopen... Don't really feel like going back to KL... Too stressful for me already... Not my studies but other problems... KL is the beginning of every problems i am facing it now... I am running away, i know... Home is still the best... Home Sweet Home~~~

12:29 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Thursday, May 29, 2008
NEW SPECTACLE!!!
28 May 2008 Sunny Day

Woke up late again... HAHA... Around 11... Slept at 2.30am last night because of watching all ice skating accidents' videos that sent by Lok Mun... Enjoy it very much actually... The "enjoy" i mean is not that i like it but is that from there, i got knew of lots of ice skater... Like Zhang Dan, Jessica... Quite impressive on their skating skills too... Wow... Wonder when i can be like them??? Hmmm... Impossible i think... HAHA...

Wan Tan Mee again for my lunch... Yummy~~~ Bought Seremban Shao Bao back also as my tea time... HAHA (No wonder i will be fat every time when i came here)... Afternoon, dad forgot that we have bought Shao Bao, he bought Popiah again... HAHA... But each of us just have to eat half of it... Phew...

By the way, got my new spectacle today... Still looked weird when i wore it... The lens are bigger than my previous one... When i wore it, am look like a rock girl (for me), not study type if i left my front hair down... If i clip my front hair up, i looked like a nerd... Weird rite? HAHA... But i like this spectacle is because it is light... Style is totally different from previous one... Is a good thing also that i can change all my style after the incident...


Too weird... I don't want to show how is it look like when i wore it... HAHA...

(MOO~~: Mooo Mooo Moooo!!! @#$^&#...)
translate: Erm... Not suitable... All bad words... HAHA...



潇洒的挥掉过去,勇敢地迎接未来... I should be like this... Next step for me is to change my hairstyle (not again...) Ya!!! CHANGE!!! 要以崭新的自己出现!!!

(MOO~~: "Moo Mooooo...") translate: 加油!

12:33 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
ESL Tutorial Slide Shows... I almost forgot...
27 May 2008 Sunny Day

Once again... Woke up quite late today... Think was about my break time if it was a schooling day... HAHA... Still feel very tired although i had slept for about 10 hours... Dreaming... Maybe caused that i had insufficient of rest... Actually, i don't know how to explain this but... I can only sleep longer when i am back home, not in KL... Stressed? Other things that bothering me? Maybe... I don't know...

What a boring day again... Facing my laptop for the whole day!!! About 12 something, dad brought me out for lunch... Wan Tan Mee we ate... Still so nice~~~ Yummy... Then faced my laptop again... Sigh... Hope that my power won't increase...

Just remember that i still have homeworks need to be done... ESL tutorial slide shows... Almost forgot that... Luckily i remember... Partially done already... Phew... At least i had done something on it... Because i am in the first group to present and I AM THE ONLY GIRL in the group!!! I don't like it... I will be the only girl wearing formal clothes in the class on that day... And is for 2 days!!! I don't want!!! T.T...

Jasmine came to Melaka today with her classmates... Night time we meet together and go and have satay celup at Kapitol there... HAHA... Feel so happy meet her and her classmates... They are cute... Now only i realized that i am not the only one who don't know how to eat spicy foods... HAHA...

"喜欢一个人很难,要放弃喜欢一个人更难..." That is so true... It is very tough... I know... But, MOO is here accompanying me... I won't be alone on it again... Thanks MOO... Thanks YOU... Thanks friends...

1:00 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
MOO~~~ing... HAHA...
26 May 2008 Rainy Day

Rained this morning when i woke up... Wow... So cooling and comfortable... Woke up quite early today... About 9 i woke up already because i slept quite early last night... Went out today too... So happy that i can shopped again... HAHA...

Received a present today too... Is a soft toy... Is a MOO~~~, i named it because SHE is a cow!!! HAHA... So cute~~~ Thanks... I like it... This can considered the first soft toy i received... Thank you so much...





Me and MOO~~~









MOO~~~ Alone... Cute right?





Went back home at about 6 something... After having dinner, went to the same place once again with my parents... Why i went again??? To make my new spectacle... I lost mine previous one since 3 weeks ago... I don't know where i put... Got scolded first of course but still... HAHA... Mum even said wanna put a siren on my new spectacle so that i can find it easily when i lost it... HAHA... Dad said wanna buy me a spectacle that less than RM100 which i can bought it from roadsides... LAME~~~

Bought new formal wear too... If is not because of english tutorial, i won't bought any formal wear including the pant... It would be very expensive... But as the shop is closing down, so every clothes in it were having discount up to 80%... So i bought a formal shirt and pant at about RM70 something all together... Consider cheap actually...

Quite satisfied today... Since i bought things that i want, received a soft toy which is the first in my lifetime... Really enjoy myself today...

Once again... To YOU: Thanks for your present... I like it very much =)...

12:29 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Friends...
Just came back from Ranaissance hotel... Had buffet lunch there... The foods there are NICE~~~ Sirloin steak, muscles, desserts... All sorts of foods there are nice... No wonder is a 5 stars hotel... HAHA... Feeling so bored... Just blog... HAHA

(below will be in chinese... just to express my feeling which i don't know how to write it in english... Forgive me...)

一早起来,刚收到洁菱的简讯,觉得非常有意义:
友情是一辈子的事,
只要是真心想待,
哪怕距离再遥远,
时间相隔在长久,
当你想起我的时候,
或许...
可能...
我就在你心里的某个小角落,
做你永远的朋友~~~

忽然,我发现,原来我没被遗忘。在这段时间,这段煎熬的期间里,朋友一直在一旁扶持我,给我力量,让我撑过去。

朋友们,谢谢你们!谢谢你们的支持,让我能从悲伤中走出,让我不再寂寞,让我再一次感受到别人的关怀,让我再一次感觉到自己在这世界上的分量。谢谢你们,我的朋友。


3:06 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Long time no BLOG...
Wow... It has been a week since my last blog... This is the first time i didn't blog for such a long time... Why? Because of mid-year exam... Must focus on revision... That's why... Sorry blog... Abandon you for a week... Sorry...

Spec maths and maths paper were good... I know how to do... YEAH!!! At least spending about 5 days of revision didn't wasted... HAHA... And yet Ms Yeap said that 79% of the class got A... I didn't hope to score A but at least better than past test can already...

Chemistry exam... I have nothing to say... SO TOUGH!!! Why teacher must set such a difficult paper? Not just me who said that paper is difficult... Almost everyone said that... So stressed... Hope i can pass this time... Really do hope that...

Physic exam... I screwed it too... I don't know why i will be panic that time... Almost all calculation questions i don't know how to do... And yet i blank for few questions too... Adding that is about 20 over marks... Again... I DO really hope that i can pass...

Friday, went to sunway with Shengy and Wingki... We played archery and bowling together.... And I MUSCLE PAIN RIGHT NOW!!! But first time playing archery was fun... I don't want to skate... Yet... So... Maybe this will be the game that i will play during this period... Did manicure at the same day too... Not worth it... And WISH TO TAKE OUT NOW!!! So difficult to do anything... But at least Jullie decorate for me again... It looks nicer... Mum and dad didn't even scold me for doing that... HAHA...

2 weeks holidays... Hmm... What should i do? Revision? Yeah!!! Is a must for this time... MUST!!!


p/s: will be posting something shocking during this holiday... Be prepared...

4:50 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Sunday, May 18, 2008
我的未来,怎么办?
很快的,五月了。还有六个月,就要离开学校,离开宿舍了。忽然,有种莫名的伤感涌上心头,不知怎么形容它。还有半年,就要离开这得一切。不能放下的,也得放下;不能读好,也得读好;不舍得的,也得舍得。因为,我始终都要离开。

只是五个月,就发生了那么多事。学业、爱情、友情甚至是生活起居,我都得应付,都得面对。有一些事,我办到了。但是有一些事,我却办不好,也不能继续做。有一些,还在进行当中。我不想做学业与爱情的失利者,但是,我却差一点点就得标了。今年,决不再谈起爱情方面的事,我一直告诉我自己。可是,我没有毅力,恐怕不能坚持到最后。

以前,我读书,是为了出国,像姐姐们一样,在外国生活。但是,现在的我,读书还是为了当初的那个原因吗?出国念书,似乎离我很遥远。虽然,还有半年,我便可以实现我昔日的梦想了。但是,这时的我,却什么信心也没有。英国还是澳洲?我该如何选择?几个月前,我决定去英国,是为了他。但是,现在我还是一样,保持我的决定吗?

我的志愿又是什么呢?化学工程师?护士?心理医生?我要行商还是行理?我都不知道。我没把握能拿到标青的成绩,更没把握能读好书。怎么办?等成绩出炉?我怕我又再次跌到谷底。

我的未来,该如何规划?

8:34 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Mid year... GAMBATEH!!!
17 May 2008 Sunny Day

What a hot weather... I kept sweating throughout the whole day!!! But in such a hot weather, why would i got flu some more? It was hot, and yet suffering... My Godness... Spare me... Just let me finish my spec maths revision will you? So suffering there... Sigh...

Laksa again for my breakfast... So nice... Not spicy too... This is the only "SPICY" food that i ate... That laksa is not spicy for me and it is so nice~~~ Want some more... This time i came back, ate Da Fei Popiah already... HAHA... For so many times i came back, didn't got chance to eat that... Finally, i ate it!!! Still so nice... I ate 2 some more... HAHA...

Spec maths... Today is the first time that i found my PASSION on doing spec maths questions... I hope that this PASSION can last until end of the year... I hope... So tiring doing also... Took a short nap in the afternoon... Too hot that i couldn't slept well... Woke up and continue my PASSION... HAHA...


Think of it once again... Don't know why i will think of it again... Told myself not to for SO MANY TIMES already and yet... Sigh... Luckily this time i didn't do THAT stupid thing... Or else, my RM50 will fly away... HAHA... Suddenly feel so empty... Maybe is because of that, i will think of it i guess... But i know... Just for while and it will go away itself... But believe in myself... I can means i can... This is GIRL POWER!!!

She added me... Although i don't know who is she but i know that she is related with him... Which i hope that my prediction is wrong... But why she? Why she added me? Why this time? What should i do? Act normal again? I don't like to be that... Hate it...

Sigh... Just don't think too much... Let it go with the flow...

11:15 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Good to be Homed...
16 May 2008 Sunny Day

What a tiring day again... Slept at nearly 1 something last night... Almost cannot woke up this morning... Luckily Yoona didn't came back last night as i could woke up late for 15 minutes... But still, i had to wake up... T.T... This morning went to school quite early... At about 7.30, to go to library to print my physic detailed outline... Didn't expect library will be so many people inside early in the morning... WOW...

Is S3 (our class) that bad? Why every teacher is leaving us? Firstly, i thought that is only Ms Yeap (maths teacher) is leaving... But until today, Mr Sam (physic teacher & mentor) is leaving is too... Mrs. Banu (english teacher) is retiring soon also... And the shocking part was TODAY IS MR. SAM'S LAST DAY OF TEACHING US!!! WTH!!! Now only he told us... And yet he is our mentor!!! Sigh... Another farewell party next friday after exam... Still planning... HAHA...

Today is Ms. Yeap farewell party... Actually, we planning to have an EXTRA CLASS with her after school but she insist that she need to SAVE A GROUP OF STUDENT... So we have a SHORT farewell party for her at few minutes at the end of the lesson... Bought a box of cupcakes for her... The cupcakes were so nice... The decorations on it were so beautiful... But i still ATE IT!!! HAHA...

After that, few of the classmates are playing of the candles... Me, Shengy and Yi Ling were trying to disturb them from lightning up the candles... I was like suddenly sang "Happy brithday to me," then we blew off the light already... Damn funny that time... Once they lighted, we will blew it off... HAHA...

Back home today... So comfortable... After undergoing so many tough parts, is good to be homed... Glad to be back... Suddenly feel that, i miss home a lot... Thanks to you that makes me feel how important is my home and my family in my heart... They are just hiding at the bottom of my heart...

What Xing Yi said is correct...

Now that it is gone,
all that's left to do is to,
walk away and say goodbye with pride,
i'll take my wound and put it aside,
I may have lost in this game of love,
my broken heart is the cost,
but i'll count my blessings and pray,
that maybe one day,
I will win at the game of love...

Yes.. Of course i will win one day... From now onwards, just let it go with the flow... Study first... 小惟,加油吧!你行的!你一定行的!把所有的悲伤和难过都抹去,start a new fresh!!!

12:25 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Running nose... Sigh...
14 May 2008 Sunny Day

Sleep quite late last night... About 12.30 something... Which both of my housemates slept already at that time... Wake up the earliest too... So tiring... Once lack of sleep, running nose coming out already... Sigh... So suffering... Sneezing for the whole day... I was like "who miss me again?"... HAHA...

Finally, our spec maths taught until the sub-title that mid-year exam come out... Phew... We can start our revision tomorrow already... HAHA... Now, all subjects are doing revision already... Luckily we manage to finish until the chapter that mid-year exam come out... If not, extra class again... T.T... I don't want it... So tiring and boring... Especially chemistry (shhh... Don't tell teacher)...

2 more days... Our maths teacher is going to leave us... She resigned already... After mid-year exam, she will not be able to teach us anymore... T.T... Although we all thought that she is doesn't know how to teach... But she is really VERY GOOD in maths... All her notes are very useful... Now the reason she resigning is because students said that she doesn't know how to teach... That just the first time you saw her... She is really good in teaching maths and mixing with students... Really... But sadly to say, she is leaving... Sigh... Don't know who and how will be our new maths teacher...

I think i am improving a lot already... These two days, i didn't even cried... Just that once i woke up, i will feel depressed and sad, but i kept telling myself that "Cry for him? Not worth it!!! I can find a even better one next year... Maybe will be a mix..." HAHA... Always tell myself that now... Concentrate on my studies first... Is a MUST!!! So that i can able to enter a famous university (aiming for University of Melbourne)... Can find a smart guy there also... HAHA... That is one of my rule of my future... HAHA... Must obey!!! MUST!!!

我相信,没有你,我一样能过得更好。还得谢谢你激发我。让我更努力,strike for the best...

11:00 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Released...
13 May 2008 Sunny Day

So tired today... Had a very bored Physic extra class which is just took us 20 min to finish... And teacher just read what he wrote on his notes that he gave us... So bored... During that time, Da Jie called me... But since i having class, i didn't answer it...

After class, i message her and told her that she can called me already... Is about that thing again... Er Jie they all told Da Jie about it as i told them to do so... But i didn't expect that they will tell Da Jie so fast... On the way back to my apartment, i was talking to her... I try to control my tears as don't let it fall down since am still outside, not in my apartment... But once i reach my apartment, i can't control it anymore... I cried once again...

I told mum about it also as i really cannot stand it anymore... I miss home... Suddenly... I was like "Mummy, i had something to tell you but you cannot scold me..." Afterwards, i cried already... Guess she was shocked that time that i will cried... But she told me that that is good as i can find a better one next year overseas. She was sure that many guys are wooing me rather than San Jie... HAHA... She asked me whether want to go back home this weekend, of course i didn't reject... I want to go back home...

After that, the phone has been passed to dad... Once i heard his voice, i cried once again... He was like helping me to scold that guy... So good... He even ask me whether want to go back home tomorrow since i can't focus on my revision now... WOW... After this incident, i just realised that every parents dote their children... But mum said i must be independent to face the sadness myself... Want to go back? Or not? So confusing...

After telling them about this, i feel so relax... Not so stressful anymore... I am myself temporary for today already... I hope that i can be it for the rest of the day... I even made a promise that i cannot cry anymore... Not worth for me to cry so much... I have even better choices next year... Just learn it as a lesson on how to control my feeling...

放手,让它随风飘扬。这次,决不拿回。让它能找到属于自己的天空,而我,也会有自己的一片天空。我祝福你!!!也祝福我吧!!!


12:19 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Monday, May 12, 2008
Untitled
算了啦!今天这篇,就用华文写吧!不管了!

我很讨厌!为什么没发生这样的事之前,我要见到你却见不着。现在,我不想见到你,我却见到了!而且,还不止一次!我很讨厌你那看我的眼神。不知是我多心或是真的,总觉得你看我的眼神,好像在可怜我,又好像你也很痛苦。

我很害怕看到你,害怕自己又承受不了那种痛,深怕自己又在一次崩溃。我不想再哭了,真的不想。可是,每一天,我还是哭了,歇斯底里的哭了。

我也不想这样。我知道这样会连累很多人,但是,我控制不了。真的,控制不了。我很想离开这里,可是,我不能再逃避了!我却又能怎样呢?

有时,我宁愿你走过来,好过你躲着我。要躲,不要让我发现你呀!至少,我不会那么心痛。可是,你却让我发现了你,让我感觉好像是我害了你,我很愧疚。我好想回到从前,回到以前那样,能和你开开小玩笑,一起吃晚餐。我需要时间适应,适应新的环境。

我也没想到这会发生。事情太突然了,我真的不知道要怎么做。说实在的,当我知道那件事后,我真得很伤心,很难过。我也不想有这样的事情发生。以前的事,还是发生了,我的过去,还是重复了。我又在一次受到了伤害,而这一次,我的心如刀割了,在淌着血。

我会给你一段时间解决你的事,我不想烦你,也不想逼你。这段时间,不见面,也许是最好的选择,好让我能整理一下自己的心情,好好的冷静冷静一下。如果可以,我想我们需要谈谈。但是,我不希望是我先开口。

现在我所做的事,并不是我想的。我不想你我的情况变得更糟,关系变得更破裂。如今,道道歉已不重要了。如果道歉能改变结局的话,我的决定,又是什么呢?我也不知道。


4:34 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I broke my promise again...
11 May 2008 Sunny Day

Wake up at 10 today... Actually i woke up at 7 something today... But i slept back again and woke up at 10 today... After that, i and Pheik Vay accompanied Charlene to go and collect the clothes that she bought... Then, we had our lunch at Mac Donald... Chat a lot of things there... HAHA...

We came back in the afternoon... She was like busy checking her JPA scholarship things... But sadly to say, she didn't got it... She was so sad that time... Wanted to comfort her but the guys are in our apartment and she locked her door... But luckily, her classmates came and she became good mood already..

This afternoon, i wanted to play CS actually... So i asked the guys whether they have the game... And i don't want to go to their apartment to play. So they brought their laptop here... And, i made a conclusion... I DON'T WANT TO PLAY CS ANYMORE!!! I made me feel dizzy... And i feel like vomiting after i played...

I broke my promise... Once again... Just now... I broke the promise that i made to myself... I cried once again... I cannot stand it anymore... Why it seems like am the only one who is suffering? I really cannot stand it anymore... Although i already try my very best to control my feeling, but still... Sigh... I really hope that i can overcome it ASAP... Really... It is suffering...

10:48 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Must be happy... Must become HAPPY Xiao Wei!!!
10 May 2008 Sunny Day

Wow... Wake up at 11 something today... This is the first time i slept until so late at KL... I slept at 12 something last night but wake up at 11 something... I slept for 11 hours!!! Amazing... Hmmm... Must keep it up... HAHA...

Cried again this morning... Sigh... And i totally ignore Charlene once again... Sorry... I didn't mean it... Is that i don't want to say... Think of last night's stuffs again... Its really hurt... Really really hurt me deeply... I promise... I will become the Xiao Wei that you know at the beginning of the year back... But i will took quite a time for me to go through... I will try my very best... Thanks for supporting me...

Didn't go out at all today... Imagine... My lunch was 3 slices of bread with tuna... I didn't took my dinner... Then i got gastric now... Shit... Just had 1 bread... Feel much more better now... Phew... Gastric problem occur again... I hate it...

情伤,是一定要走出的,只是所需的时间长短问题罢了... 我答应你们,不再哭泣。一定要坚强,不能这么轻易打败。我不能为了一棵树,而放弃整片森林的,对吗?谢谢你们,谢谢所有支持我的朋友。谢谢... Thanks...

12:02 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Friday, May 9, 2008
Tiring...
9 May 2008 Sunny Day

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!! Today is SAM celebration for teacher's day... So for the whole day, we just studied for 3 hours (others were only 1 hour as my class have 2 hours of extra class)... After 9, when we finish our first period, we went to Sunway to buy teachers' presents... We had decorated some decorations on white shirts for Mr. Lee (spec maths teacher) and Mr. Sam (our mentor and physic teacher)... So cool...

After spending 4 hours in Sunway, we came back to school for another 2 hours of extra classes - English and Maths... Few of us late for class as there was a heavy traffic congestion near the school. That time was Sri KL finish school... So congested... We late for about 15 min to class... Luckily teacher didn't angry at us... Phew...

Went for a haircut also... Although it doesn't looked "cut" before, but it actually cut... Just touch up only... My barber was Shu Zhen!!! Unbelievable right? HAHA... Is true... I went to Cut Above to find her for a haircut... I quite satisfied what she cut... Well done... I like it...

"在爱情的世界里,是自私的。” That is so true... I must admit that i am selfish... 我并没有你们想象中的那么大方。但是,我却又不想当第三者。唯有退出了,希望能把伤害的程度降到最低,让所有的痛苦都由自己承担。毕竟,一个人痛苦好过两个人一起痛苦吧!那不叫伟大,只是想让对方开心就好。

我真得很累。我已束手无策了。我会尊重最后决定,也一定会履行我的诺言 - 祝福你,永远的祝福你...
(虽然我知道,当时的我已会是遍体鳞伤,没有任何的力气再哭泣,也无法在哭泣了。因为,我的心在滴血,而眼泪,也已流干了。)

11:56 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Thursday, May 8, 2008
I need time... I guess...
8 May 2008 Sunny Day

Wow... Today i am sooooo freaking happy!!! I don't know why... Maybe is because of too sad tomorrow already... HAHA... My mood was like totally different from yesterday... Was TOTALLY different!!! Seriously...

First time, 5 months in college, i was like having 100% of concentration in class... I don't know what happened to me once again... Especially at chemistry lesson... Wow... Amazing... Now, i am not the one who is sleeping throughout the lesson but is Jia Yean!!! Surprisingly... HAHA...

I like to go school... This is the first time in my life i said i LIKE to go to school... Because i don't feel stress and sad at all!!! With all my classmates, jokes, playing cards in the class, i feel so good... So happy... Totally different from coming back to apartment... Which still have problems for me to face... And i don't like it...

Me and Charlene? Ok already... HAHA... I told her the reason i am so bad mood yesterday already... Because yesterday i was like totally ignored her... Am feel so sorry... And, i told her the reason, i cried once again... This time, really... Heart broken already... She was like my mother, hugged me and comfort me... I feel so warmed... Thanks...

Mid year examination is coming in 2 weeks time... Why such thing will happen at this time? It will be a tough time for me... But i think i will go through it... Don't know how many tears i will drop again... 1 liter? Hmmm... Maybe...

I am a happy go lucky girl? Is true but is not always... I am a human being... I am warm-blooded... I have feeling... All kinds of feeling that a human should have... At this situation, if i don't feel sad, i am not a human anymore... And i am not Xiao Wei anymore...

10:31 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Panadol...
7 May 2008 Rainy Days

Phew... Finally it rains!!! After a few days of sunny days, it rains this afternoon... Feel so cool after raining... The weather is so good... But my mood isn't that good...

ESL assignment... FINISH!!! HAHA... What a release after passed up that... Everyone in the class was like sooooo happy after the 3 months hard work is finished... Feel soooo happy and relax...

Not enough sleep for a few night... Fall sick already... Sigh... My immune system is so weak that i just had not enough sleep for 3 nights and i fall sick... Sigh... To suffer and tiring...

Being emo today... My mood so not good... After reading that, feel not right some more... Think anyone in my situation after reading that, will have the same feeling as me... Sigh... Today is the second time i cried for a guy... Why should i put in 100% of my feeling into it? Why? I told myself last time that do not do that again... But still... I did the same stupid idiotic thing... Sigh...

Now i think back, is all that true? Or is just to make me happy? Is all that you wanna tell me? Or just copy from drama? I don't know how to differentiate it... Sometimes, it is true but sometimes, i don't think it is...

Sigh... Already sick, after crying, even more sick... Sick... From now onwards, panadol is my friend... Panadol... Save me...

6:54 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Tell me how...

回家的期间,
想了很多,
也伤心了好几次。
友情与爱情之间,真的很难抉择。

朋友,会不会是个更好的选择呢?
还是目前的状况为佳?
如果没有天天见面,
或许我会选择第一者,
但是,我却做不到。

我真的不知道自己的选择。
每一次告诉自己,
到时候再来想,
可是,自己却会不由自主地去想,
到头来,什么答案都没有。

我答应给彼此一点时间,
就一定会做到。
但是,我真得很怕像过去那样。
我不想它再次重演,
我很害怕再受伤,
我承担不起那种痛。
心碎的感觉,很辛苦。

我真的不想再受伤了!
但是,我又在一次跌入这坑内。
凭我一个人的力量,是爬不上来的。
我该怎么办?

忽然好想回到从前,
回到中学时期,
每一天都很开心,快乐。
虽然有时候很羡慕那些有男朋友的朋友,
但是,我知道,
当时的自己不能,也不行。

拿起了,就得放得下。
但是,我拿起了。
却放不下。

有谁能告诉我,我该怎么做?


4:58 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Sweet memories~~~
No one suck in that... Including you... Not everyone expert in it for the first time, right? They must learn from lesson or maybe lessonS in order to do even better for the next time... You are not suck in that. At least you had told me about it and had gave me a assurance...

Actually, am feel WARMED once again after your messages, especially the second one which is the longest one... Really... At least, i have someone who can hug and even advise me when i am down, stressed or even crying time...

"Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this... Some people search forever for that one special kiss... I cant believe is happening to me... I may be dreaming but till i awake, cant we make this dream forever? And i will cherish all the love we share..."

True... I wanna come and think... This is the conclusion that i got. Actually this is part of the lyric from the song "A Moment Like This" sang by Kelly Clarkson. It really sang the feeling that am having now when i came back... I don't know whether it is a good news for you or a bad news... But just what i got when i came back...

恋爱,可以很浪漫,也可以很痛苦。牵手,可以很简单,也可以很困难。问题就在于你敢不敢面对,敢不敢行动了。

7:56 PM By 小惟的心情部落格
I lost all my confident... Once again...
2 May 2008 Sunny Day

Still in Melaka... Went back to my secondary school with Yik Ling this morning... Saw many teachers and friends there... Miss them so much... But we are so unlucky... Once we came down from the car, we saw the teacher that we hate the most - Chua... That time, we dare not even walk and just stand there... Until he went into the staff's room... But he didn't spoil our mood anyway... Still feel very happy when we saw our teachers and friends there...

Went to Tesco today this afternoon also... Mum brought me there... The main purpose for me to go there is to stock up my foods in KL... Before we shopped, we have a "tea time" at Kluang Station, in Tesco also... Then we shopped for 2 hours. The things that we bought, almost all were mine... HAHA... We went home at about 7 something to have our dinner... Finally i had stocked up the instant noodle that i have in KL already... Phew...

Night time, i received a bad news... I failed my maths once again... Why??? Why this happened to me again? I so confident when doing revision but still... I had lost all my confident already... Not even a little in me... All of them went to no where... Can't find them... 我很累,真得很累了...希望一次又一次的被毁灭,我的心死了。彻彻底底的死了。我的自信,不见了,找不着,也不想找了...

Sorry about that... I shouldn't have scold you just because am in bad mood... 我不因该意气用事,我知道... 但是,每当我需要一个拥抱,你却不在身边。我很辛苦... Sorry about that... Really sorry... But i can't stand it anymore...

What should i do? I know that cry can't solve anything... But, this is the only option that i have... No other choices anymore...

12:30 AM By 小惟的心情部落格
Thursday, May 1, 2008
爱情来了...
1 May 2008 Sunny Day

Hot day still... So damn bloody warm... Feel like global warming is coming soon... (touch wood...) After taking my bath, i still sweat like nobody business... No raining here. The weather is like totally different from few weeks ago which was like it rained every evening... Now, no but sun shines so HAPPILY...

Went out with Xin Yi today... Prefer to call her Meh Meh, which is the sound of a goat... HAHA... And today is the first time i took 大头贴, which i don't know what is it called in english... She told me that today is her first time shopped so happily... Thanks to me!!! HAHA... Quite happy when met her... She changed too... Everyone changed i think... Be more mature already... No more kiddy look... And yet she dyed her hair and went to rebond her hair too... WOW... I liker her hairstyle... Wanna grow my hair like hers one... HAHA...

I did something that i dare not to do this afternoon when shopping time... First time i did that... Got scolded also at the same time... But at least i cleared my debt, as in i won't feel bad... Owning others money, i will feel terribly bad... HAHA... What a release...

Sis from Australia phone back tonight also... But line problem, i had to set up a video conversation in my laptop... And they chat with dad soooooo freaking long until i got angry as i need to use my laptop to do my assignment... All my documents are in my laptop... I got scolded by dad also as i didn't save my assignments in my pendrive... WHAT??? I didn't save it also got scolded... Is it because you still wanna talk to them? So long already... All the stuffs you talked were the stuffs that you told them before what... WTH!!! Nvm... At least i got my laptop back after banging the room door...

Told sis about my relationship stuffs also... They analyzed for me too... But not much suggestions i got... Still need to depends on myself... When the situation that i think occur that time, i will ask them again... At least they are my sis... They can give me any suggestion... They know me the most... HAHA...

Thinks this is the only thing that i can tell myself now: Don't think too much... Do homeworks or revision... It really help... Trust me... HAHA...

11:57 PM By 小惟的心情部落格